Hi Kendyll

I'm not DID either but I do have a dear friend who is. I can only go by my experience with my friend and her alters in what I'm about to say and I don't know if it fits other folks with DID.

Whenever I've had conversations with anyone within the system and my friend asks me what was said or done, I ask her to go within and ask if it's alright for me to tell her what transpired. And the same goes the other way around also. I think there are times when those within the system need to release what is on their minds without the fear of being "told on". So by asking them if it's ok to discuss it with my friend, it gives them the right to say yes or no and feel validated at the same time that they are important and cared about. I believe that many times those within the system are more aware of what my friend can handle than I am. I don't ever want to hurt her or her system in any way.

I have also found that by asking permission, has helped her system to begin learning how to communicate better within. Some of them have been able to work towards co-awareness on many issues.

Wishing you both well!


sabby