Along the lines of seesaw's post, I thought reconnecting with someone from my high school & college past might bring light to the black hole of my past. No way though it did spark a few memories that seriously I didn't want to remember & I ended up blocking the person who really brought a feeling of uneasyness to my peace. That is my rule of thumb now I have peace to not allow anyone into my inner circle who creates a sense of anxiety.
I have made better roots after leaving my husband because his personality actually kept me from creating roots before as did the whole Calif environment I lived in all my life because I could finally be me without the parents or husband's personalities creating issues. That new freedom is valuable for healing