My furnace refused to come on all morning. The weather is mild, so my apartment has been between 64°F and 68°F, which is tolerable. The trouble is that I'm rather depressed, which makes getting out of bed hard. It's so much harder to get up, when my apartment is chilly. So I stayed reading in bed all day.

Yesterday, I told my landlady that my furnace is getting quirky. I think I'll have to call her tomorrow to say the problem is more serious. She's good about getting things fixed. But I just wish this wasn't happening right now

By staying late in bed, I never got out of the house today. That makes depression worse. I'm not doing well mentally. I think about telling my primary doctor that I need help. But I don't know what anyone can do to help me. Plus, I dread being referred to the psych department of my healthcare system. I've been to them in the past. That place is awful. To even walk into their building requires getting my purse examined and me wanded by security. It is nothing like going to a private psychiatrist or an independent therapist, which I used to be able to afford. I'm starting to wish I could die.