I had an insight this morning while journaling. Don't have anywhere else to share it but here now, so here goes: I’ve been thinking a lot about this whole “I need to grow up” thing and why it’s such a big deal for me. I’ve come to realize that repeatedly being told to “grow up” as a kid is part of my trauma! I mean think about it. To a child whose brain is still forming, who’s learning about the world, who’s just trying her best to survive in an often chaotic and abusive environment, being told to “grow up” sends yet another message that “You’re not enough as you are” and “You’re bad, you’re wrong, you need to change”.

And the fact that I've finally been able to hear this - to own and accept it - that I need to grow up - without going into denial/victim mode - is evidence of my healing that trauma.

And calling you on Wednesday morning was another step in my growing up.

Thank you for everything, from my heart to yours.