Hi, I'm a mother of two adult sons. This is a hard decision but I feel it's time for me to do something just for me. I will be moving to another country. The place will be my own rented to by a friend. We've had some disagreements in the past. But he's taught me a lot about myself. It's really hard to leave the younger son, but he constantly looks to me to fix things, I've been down this road for years. I help, he expects more. He is 23 and will be 24 this year. At that age I had many jobs, and became a mother. He does have depression, but addiction to weed is his main issue. He had jobs before, but now is unwilling to take the steps to get a job again. There are jobs available to him. I don't know how to do anything to motivate him.
They will both be upset/angry with me for leaving my country. But the older is capable and also admits he struggles with weed. I've paid his debts, helped with other things, the same for the younger.
I don't feel I'm wrong in doing this for me. It will be for a year... then, I'll see for sure how I like it there. I will finally have my own key. I know I can trust him to let me be on my own, as my landlord with my own unit he is busy building/finishing. I don't know yet how to get the things I need there but it's possible... i have a couple choices. I've visited twice, so I know the weather, history a bit, and he's been there at least 11 years. We met long ago, about that many years.
My only question, if anyone has advice, is how to tell my sons without them feeling jealous or upset. I could remind them how much I've done but that doesn't seem right to me to put that in their face. How else do I approach this without coming off as selfish? It's a decision made but could be changed. I don't want to change it. The sunshine has helped my depression so much. They are welcome to come visit me, I've tried encouraging the younger to save for a plane ticket.... I didn't tell him yet I'll have my own place. I'm worried about their reaction. The older is into his 30's and dating, he'll be ok but he didn't want to hear anything about my last vacation... it's tough I guess to see their mother enjoying herself. Although I also feel they should be happy for me to feel happy....