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captaineo
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Member Since Jul 2016
Location: Tokyo
Posts: 416
7
Default Feb 25, 2024 at 10:22 AM
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by MuddyBoots View Post
I didn’t throw away my fking shot. In this stupid pos game I’ve tried making a basket 100 times, but I guess I just suck. People want to keep me in the game because it’s like a ****** league game and they want to be inclusive, but if I weren’t surrounded by coaches trying and failing to make me feel better about myself and teammates who are constantly throwing the ball in my face and then getting pissed when I can’t do anything with it, I wouldnt and shouldn’t even be in this stupid miserable fked up pointless joyless game.

“Do not make a permanent decision for a temporary situation.” Okay, next time I am hungry and want a slice of toast with peanut butter on it, I’ll starve because the craving is only temporary and eventually I won’t even feel the hunger. Next time my cat gets severely terminally I’ll and suffering I won’t put her down because the situation of her living is only temporary. I’ll never stay sober because my desire to be clean and sober is merely fleeting. I won’t piss in the woods on a four day backpacking trip because the puss will stay there but I’ll get out of the woods eventually. I won’t end my life because one day I will die and my brain will stop making me want to die.

Perfect fking logic. Grade A. Chronic suicidality solved, gonna go give a TED talk on how a couple trite sayings saved my life.

Hi friend, you are not alone , I think even in this virtual space the words people have given me good or bad help. My case is different and may be religious but I flog my self with a belt o my back to try to feel alive and not so dead inside its twisted and still live with someone who abuses me verbally and makes me feel small, yet I am terrified of she leaves. Not trying to make this my post and sorry if it sounds like that just trying to share you are not suffering alone I wish you as many of my friends here continue to battle your own battles and get the strength to win them . Blessings and a big hug

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