(((((((hugs))))) if OK.

That doesn't happen to me as much as it used to, but it still does now and then. It sucks, for sure.

I think right now I'd concentrate less on "why" and focus on ways of feeling better that don't involve harming yourself. Figure out a way to treat yourself, whether that's a bubble bath or chocolate ice cream, and go do it. I tend to find it's better for me to get out of the house (and away from the sharps) till the mood has passed.

It will get better. It will. Honest and truly.