Hi R,

I've never been in the practice of telling you what I think you want to hear, so I don't know why this has come up now...but when we began talking about me forgiving Steve, as I reflected on that afterwards...

If that is a goal, then it's not now, not yet.

I still don't recognise the landscape of my life or my inner world these days.

Being able to cry or express emotion in other ways is movement to me.

We know that I struggle with anger, because anger is violence in my mind.

I found myself thinking on Tuesday...Faith is less about what happens afterwards than what helps sustain me now. I'm not even sure what that looks like in the aftermath of this.

I keep looking for resources, but nobody else is having my experience, so that doesn't really work.

I hope you return from your break refreshed so that we can explore this new facet of the work together.

Take care,

Lost