I didn't sleep last night, so I spent the majority of today sleeping, which I realize is not good. I was just SO tired. Now I'm probably not going to sleep tonight and I have shyt to do tomorrow. I'll probably go to bed at eleven and wake up at one. Sigh. I guess I'll just deal with my fukked up sleep schedule. I'm going to try taking a melatonin tonight and see if that helps at all. It definitely can't hurt.

I guess right now I'm feeling a little anxious about going to bed tonight because I'm pretty sure I'll wake up in the middle of the night again and for whatever reason that causes me a lot of anxiety.

I guess I just have to maintain a positive attitude. I also feel really guilty and ashamed of myself because over the course of the day I took 600mg of seroquel (I'm prescribed 400mg), and, even worse, at 3AM I was so desperate for sleep I took 125mg of loxapine, which only made me lightly dose for like an hour unfortunately, but I was desperate. I'm prescribed 50mg of loxapine and don't even want to be on it. So I feel a whole lot of bad. I feel like a seroquel addict. I mean, I have a serious seroquel problem, and it's starting to scare me.

I'm just not happy with myself right now.