It's 5:30 AM. I slept 2 hours and have been up since 12:20. I've had 3 doses of gabapentin. I may be slightly calmer but definitely not sleepy. This is the 3rd time this week. It just sucks.

I see my pdoc Monday. I know she's going to tell me to take 100 mg of Seroquel on these bad nights. I don't want to because I'm fighting hard to lose weight and don't need another drug working against me and because it will make me sleep so much on the days I take it. I also don't want to get into a cycle where I depend on Seroquel. I'm already afraid that's happening because it has had such a clear and dramatic effect as a mood stabilizer even on just 50 mg.

I do not understand this.If I were having a mixed episode I would but I don't feel manic and the depression is mild now and improving except for this sleep thing and at least half the time, sometimes more, that's not bad. It's just very bad when it is bad.