Ok I would love some input and support on this one....
So, I have a new-ish female friend that I recently had to set a boundary with.
I told her the subject matter is just too dark for me, and that I am trying to focus on positives and healing any trauma in my own life.
To back up with this story:
We quickly became buddies through our local music scene. We immediately clicked, we exchanged numbers, hung out sometimes, and then started talking on the phone, and at great length. She had even stayed at my home overnight once.
She just broke up with another bf, whom she dated for the last year, who would trigger her into states of uncontrolled crying.
Well, this woman started dumping ALL her life problems on me SUPER FAST, she unleashed and uncontrollably BAWLED on the phone with me several times, early on in our friendship, and after a month of this, with many lengthy phone calls lasting over an hour and sometimes, almost 2 hours, it was clear she wanted me to function as some sort of counselor or therapist for her.
I had given her several resources for her to seek out domestic violence peer support. I sent her several Facebook DV groups to join.. she didn't follow up and she didn't join one single one! Instead, she wanted to keep talking it out with me on the phone. I work full time, she doesn't. My time and energy are limited....
Well, after I had set this limit with her and because the last time I bumped into her, she was being super distant with me, on Sunday I told her (via text) that my intention wasn't to end our friendship, but that I only wanted to limit conversation about her abusive ex.
She blew it off that day, briefly writing back that she was "super busy" and to have a nice day.
And then last night she got nasty with me in reply...
Via text she told me that she doesn't want to hear about my ex's either and that she doesn't want to talk anymore. Then she said she will still hug me when she sees me and that we're still "friends". She ended it by saying "peace".
I lost it after reading that. I felt it was a nasty way to respond to my setting a healthy boundary, so I replied by telling her that that is a fake friendship to me, that I don't tolerate fake friendships, and that not wanting to talk at all anymore was BS. So I said, no need to reply, and then blocked and unfriended her.
I did this also on the heels of her quickly posting a meme on Facebook about how some friends suddenly drop you when things are hardest. I confronted that with her, telling her if it was about ME in any way, that it was very passive aggressive of her to post that.
So that's the end of that friendship..
So, the issue is also this:
In my social scene, I keep running across people who are either shady with checkered pasts, traumatized, drug addicts, or emotionally unbalanced people somehow....
I have to either change my scenery and how I am meeting and making new friends, or perhaps it's me that is toxic. At this point, I really don't know anymore, but I am personally in a far healthier place in my life, and I am trying to adopt healthier habits. I, too, had exited from an abusive marriage only just a year ago... that being said, I know I have some triggers and that I can react strongly to those triggers.
And maybe it's my particular Deadhead hippie dippy music scene: the land of the misfits as I recently started calling it... that's the social scene I hang out in.
I keep trying to meet single eligible men in this scene and make new female friends, and it's not exactly working out as I had hoped. :/ I love my music, and I love dancing, but maybe I need to stop trying to meet and make friends in this scene.
What are your thoughts on the above?