I met with my lawyer on Monday. I'm in court again on Monday next week.

The original decisions can't be changed; I have guardianship, I'm in the family home.

This hearing is solely about her requesting spousal support and citing a lot of reasons why she can't work.

Something that has been crucial in all this for me, is that I texted her a lot. She found fault with me doing that, but I didn't want to NOT communicate, but once she got so angry and I could feel myself being at risk of responding poorly, I would create physical distance and speak over text.

I sent her a big text message a couple of months before we separated, saying, "What you are expecting isn't possible. The kids have already told you they won't live with you. I don't have the ability to support two households. I know your friends have talked you up with all this stuff, but what you think is going to happen just simply can't. You've said you're going to force me to pay so much that all I'll be able to afford is to rent a room in someone else's home. That isn't going to happen if the kids are with me. Please stop all these threats, and please work on reconnecting with your family."

And she replied to it.

So.... She made an adult, informed decision to leave. She was not forced out. She was not open to reconciliation.

I know she has health issues. She truly does, and I did everything I could to support her. Somehow, though, those issues haven't affected her single-girl lifestyle that she has been posting on social media, including trips and concerts.

Reading her affidavit made me sick. It was a bullet list of all her health issues and struggles, and her academic attempts, and whatever. I wrecked myself supporting her on all those things, and now they are being used against me and the kids.

For all of her flex of being a "powerful independent woman", she has no plan and no ability to be that.

I broke Monday night after reading her affidavit. I really did.

I'm scared of seeing her next Monday.

RDMercer