Quote:
Originally Posted by Desoxyn
Hugs BB =[ Trying to minimize it as much as possible would mean coping, but also not thinking too much about it (There has to be balance).
I remember when in full DPDR panic attacks (And they were the most horrible thing that's ever happened to me in my life), I 100% stopped learning about dissociation etc.. I just couldn't.. I didn't allow myself to (+ Some guy on YouTube mentioned that that was the best way).
Slowly, I got better.. Very slowly.. Now I can learn as much as I want to about it, go as deeply into it (It's a real gift, once recovery has been 99% completed). To meditate, but within the expansion realms, and all concentrated, the whole universe..
It's very very scary - But then you realize that the fear is from nothing.. Trauma has to be healed more.. Love is the opposite of fear. I still struggle with fear (Learning about corruption news - But not too much anymore.. Now it's more spiritual, reality based.. Into infinite realms of dissociation, I'm okay with..).
There just needs to be a switch that is activated - You can slip back in, but once you're fully out? It's relief.. I held on for dear life.. Many years ago.. Our will to live is usually stronger than our will to die... I wanted to die really bad, and I wanted to live really bad (Just a bit more) - I guess that's life for many.
And there's the heavenly realms.. Does it exist? Of course, cuz a psych ward can't be heaven right? That would be hell.. Bad is hell/evil, good is heaven/bliss, ecstasy, nirvana, etc..
People are to LIVE.. Being alive is what matters.. Our individual lives, the ones around us.. Are the most precious things in existence.. Life is the most horrible and most beautiful thing.. Cuz that what it encompasses, everything.. Every imagination is real.. A mathematical equation - Each thought flying through space at a 30 degree angle, with planets spinning around it... The sun, or the nucleus of an atom... Quantum particles, being waves.. Or directions, just ideas - Spinning, flying, falling, attracting, repelling.. This world we live in, is just a thought in Gods mind.. My mind.. Your mind, our mind..
Much love  |
Thank you Desoxyn
I'm trying to focus on music (violin) and art (drawing, painting, etc) because those bring me the most happiness and anxiety relief and are very fulfilling. So I've invested into those hobbies a bit recently. Like buying/upgrading to the much better violin a couple days ago, and getting better art supplies. I feel like it's worth it if I can afford it and I'll use them and get a lot of joy out of them. Those things, art and instruments are very tactile type hobbies where the the sense of touch is activated a lot because you're holding the instrument, holding the bow, putting your fingers down on the different strings, holding the pencil when sketching, or the paint brush while painting. They're both very mindful activities and help ground me if that makes sense. Especially when I feel like I'm floating when I'm dissociating. You do them and get into a kind of flow state with your focus and it feels good
Anyway, that's what I'm trying to prioritize. Art, Music, exercise, sleep, socialization, fresh air, and balanced eating. I feel like those have the biggest effects on my mental health. When they're all out of alignment I'm a paranoid dissociated anxious mess.
I'm working on it though
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi
Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type