Almost lost my cool and kicked Victoria out. That's not like me but she's pushing to do nothing. If I even suggest SSI h wants her to live on her own. They have me stuck in a hard spot. I'm just pushing to be happy and healthy. That includes getting up and not sleeping all day. Today she refused to get up. I don't know what to do anymore. It's not like I get up from bed. So it's hard. All she wants to do is talk to her gf and play D&D. I want to cut the Internet but h won't let me do that either. He doesn't want his life harder but complaining about doing stuff for her. I don't want her gone. so I don't know why I almost did that. I thought I had an appointment with pdoc Monday but it's not for 3 weeks so I ordered my meds because I run out soon. I want to change meds because these aren't helping enough. Or they do and I'm seriously ****ed. We'll see. I don't want to end up in the hospital here. It's an unknown thing. I don't do well with unknown. I need to repair my relationship with Victoria but I don't know how. I'm so scared because she refuses to participate in the world. She said when she has money she will but I doubt it.