"Maybe look at it as being committed to taking care of what & where your life was at that time & being a good, responsible, caring person rather than being "just" committed to another person.

My now ex did the Dr things & hospital visits with me but just like with getting married after he graduated college, it was nothing more than a check mark for him as "the right thing to do"

Maybe reframing your "committment" might help?"

Thanks for this Eskie. It's true, it wasn't just a check mark for me. I wanted the best for her. I wanted to see her be successful, and whole, and happy. I viewed so much of her anger and irrationalness to being sick and depressed. My son said, "I've seen you let her berate you and tear you apart for hours and you never say anything back, then when she needs you because she's sick sometimes only a couple of hours later you go look after her. I've seen you look after her and never expect anything back."

I didn't. I loved her.

I know, I had to learn and accept that the court sees a lot of cases. Mine isn't unique. Ultimately what she's looking for and expecting to get from me just doesn't exist. It's not possible. We are now a single income home. I am now a single parent. No, I can't do that on a 40% pay cut. That's what she is seeking; that she not pay child support, and that 35% of my after-tax pay goes to her.