So, last night I went out with a platonic male friend. He was great, but my mood was low and it was really hard for me to feel good or to have a good time. :/

I am feeling the weight of all these issues on my shoulders, and it's coloring my world a darker color. I feel a dark cloud hanging over me like a depression. I am fighting it and I am fighting allowing myself to go into a depressed state. But it's there, I feel it, and it's very real.

It didn't help AT ALL that when we got to see the band we planned on seeing, the band contributed to my darker mood by explaining they had just lost a band member earlier in the week, who had died. I ended up wrapping up the night early. It just wasn't very fun, but I wanted to get out and I needed to get out since I stayed in by myself all last weekend.

I really hope tonight will bring some fun into my world. I need it... badly. I need to dance, to smile, to feel free, and to feel like my happy self again. Where is she?????