This morning I was reading about shame, and having healthy shame versus unhealthy shame. One of the big takeaways is separating the person from the act or situation.

It sounds like this is what you do with your kids. Your kid isn't gross, your kid's room is gross.

Nothing wrong with expectations and consequences. The world will have that for them too. Guessing on the flip side they get lots of support and affirmations from you as well.