Had a great violin lesson today, learned a lot and have a lot of new stuff to work on. My 32gb (two 16gb) RAM was delivered tonight, so my bf is gonna try to help me with changing my RAM in my laptop over videochat since he knows how to do it. We talked for 2 hours straight today, and then later watched some Naruto. My new violin is arriving on Monday, so freaking hyped for that.

Tomorrow I'm walking downtown to the main library and am gonna sit in one of their study booth areas and just work on some of my music theory workbook for a couple hours. Partly to get out of the house, and partly because I focus better when I'm somewhere like the library, or a cafe etc. Plus it's a 45 min walk all together, so it's a good amount of exercise too. After that when I get home my bf is gonna help me with changing my laptop RAM, so hopefully that goes well, then we're gonna watch The Queens Gambit and play Chess and maybe a round or two of the yugioh TCG . We're gonna start both reading The Clockwork Orange and kind of do a little book club between the two of us, read and discuss what we've read over videochat, his friend might join in too because he likes to read as well.

I'm aiming to start doing that 3 times a week. Just go to the library and spend a couple hours reading and studying music theory.

I'm doing okay. I think the majority of what I deal with is my bipolar and my BPD. I don't know if I have schizoaffective. I'm diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder bipolar type. I suppose it doesn't really matter the meds/treatment are the same for the most part. And I'm to the point with my BPD that I'm not so dysfunctional that I merit a diagnosis for that anymore, which is good. My previous psychiatrist said she thinks it's likely I had it at one point especially due to all my childhood trauma but that over the years I was seeing her I had so much growth and progress that she didn't feel it was necessary to give me a BPD diagnosis. I saw her for 7 years so I trust that she knew me well. Don't get me wrong I still struggle with it and go through phases where it becomes a problem but I'm nowhere near as self destructive as I was 10 years ago and never really sui anymore, and haven't been in the hospital in like 5 years. My current psychiatrist I just met for the first time a month ago, he's focusing on treating the bipolar, but he left my diagnosis as sza bipolar. He may drop the sza part of it eventually idk, I know that he's focusing on treating the bipolar though espeially with me frequently going 2-3 days without any sleep and the energy levels being high and impulsive behavior.

So yeah that's what's up with me. I'm trying to reign in my spending. And doing what I can to manage my stress levels by exercising, limiting caffeine, meditating, and doing self care.