so sorry you are going thru this. I had the same trouble in the UK .... i was so lucky in the end ... i go to a place where you give a donation, my therapist was fully booked but wanted to see me and she has just qualified as a psychotherapist .... i know the trials and tribulations and the suffering and i really empathise with you .... good luck, hope you find help real soon, love Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxo