I'm so sorry you're going thru this, @GypsyButterfly. Romantic disappointments can be so painful. It sounds like you really felt an intense connection to this man, and it's understandable that you're in pain.

Mental illnesses of any kind complicate relationships exponentially. I've witnessed a lot of disastrous relationships amongst my mentally ill peers, even a couple who had an S pact that they followed thru with. Eee!

I'm 57 and haven't had a relationship since my ex-husband broke my heart at 29. I got a dog eleven years ago and i find she is a better companion than any man ever was. Sounds like your housing is too unstable for you to consider a pet at the moment, but something to consider for the future.

I have come to enjoy and treasure my independence. Spending my money exactly how i want, no negotiating on every little thing, no compromising. It was hard to change gears from being in a couple to being single again, but i would never go back.

I'm very sorry to hear about your cancer, too. That has to be tough. You've really been dealt a challenging hand. Best of luck with your health, and know that it's possible to enjoy being alone, and that a pet helps a lot.