was doing a lot of crying tonight and thought about this thread. my child ended up staying away from home right up until christmas eve or the day before. they turned their gps back on their phone so i could see where they are after two days. they got me to meet them at the mall to pay for and sign off on their piercing, and then after they went back to their friend's house for more days away. child was coming up with things they need money for, and wanting me to send it to them, but they were lying about what they wanted the money for. they finally came home once they felt "safe" to do so. and they said they didn't want to talk about the week they'd been gone. they told me they want to drop out of school for a ged. any school is too stressful. they told me they needed to do whatever they want basically, until there is a better plan, otherwise life isn't worth living.

its been a struggle. a lot of struggle.

im thankful for some things child has been agreeing to do and sticking to, like:
taking medication in front of me over video call when they're away on a sleep over.

leaving their gps on their phone all the time.

letting me know where they are and where they are going.

more recently:
doing some daily tasks. doing some school work. talking to me about some thoughts and feelings. talking about the future. engaging in services

things have been going better for awhile, a bit more predictable. theres challenges almost every single day