I agree with the others. Your transference and anger are normal parts of therapy...even life! You are NOT bad for these things.

L says to "come as you are". I'm allowed to be angry. I'm even allow to slam a door. I just can't physically harm her or anything, of course. She says big needs and big feelings are okay.

Your T encouraging you to express your feelings, in my opinion, was healthy. However, to then turn around and punish you for those feelings, is wrong on his part.

And yes, because he knows of your transference and issues, he should have done a better termination IF that was necessary (which I don't believe was). To terminate via email is inappropriate. And if he blocked your email, that's inappropriate too. Even my ex-T didn't block me!

I'm sorry you're going through this. Again you are not bad. And it does get easier, but it takes time. I don't know if it fully goes away, but it gets better. And sometimes, you wind up finding someone even better! After ex-T I found T and then L. So in a sense I'm now grateful ex-T let me go. I know it doesn't feel like that bow for you, but I say that as there is hope even after this horrible experience.