my usual 90min session was a bit over 120mins today as T and i went back and forth on this sneetch stuff. still not sure where i'm at with the therapeutic relationship (the non-disclosure part of this whole situation really hit me in the trust/safety feels), or how i feel about where T has drawn his boundary and the impact of that on me. but he did do some proper apologising and explaining and clarifying so i now understand more about the whys and wherefores.

and while T was a bit prickly at times - as was i! - he was, overall, more open, warmer, less defensive and more compassionate than the previous two sessions. i do believe that he's always trying to do the right thing for my therapy; we just don't always agree on what that is.

i have a lot to think about before next week's session, but my head is sore after all the talking so the thinking might have to wait a while. oh, and i also sought some advice (confidentially) from the Psychologists Board and they pointed me to an advocacy service and various bits of info on dual relationships etc., which i'm also going to mull over.