I use to imagine running out in front of traffic on my morning walk to work.. The feeling of desperation I felt inside was suffocating... A counselor at the treatment centre said he couldn't help me anymore but was Making an enquiry to a respected psychoanalysis to see if she would help me... I sat waiting to hear back from him with clenched fists and tears desperate for help!!
I begin to see this psychoanalysis, many times thumping her couch saying "this isn't helping me" and she'd sit and offer a gentle smile which would make me feel worse... Over the months I didn't feel the need to thump, just protest "this isn't helping me" and T would offer her gentle smile then I don't know when but even the protests stopped.. That's the short version of my lonnnng fight to feel better... But I did over the many years with her and I still do now...