"When your dad says things that are just like WTF, when you find yourself questioning why any human being would say that to you, that's your sign to end the conversation. And that's not a negotiation. It sounds to me like your father isn't a "safe" person for this kind of discussion anyhow"

Yes, I totally agree.

Recently dad went into a long tirade about the living hell he went through during the years mom was drinking.

I said, "You've been saying that for 30 years. Did you ever once, ever, ask what it was like for anyone else in the house?"

"Ah, RD. Why can't you just let bygones be bygones. Why do you keep dragging up the past?"

Then he tells my mom this, and she's wondering why I can't let go of the past!

I'M NOT THE ANGRY ONE AND I'M NOT THE CRAZY ONE!

Dang..... Now I look angry and crazy.

RDMercer