Well, yes, I think your actions and comments are part of why you are in therapy...but if the T says she can't help you further, then that's the way it is.

Don't give up! I'm sure there are plenty of emotions for both you and your wife... but now is not the time to stop. You've hit a new path...and hopefully the new T will be able to not only move you through this tough time, but onward to healing. You're worth the effort..