Hey everyone,

As many of you know, I separated from my husband a few months ago, and sent him back to live with his mom back in New York. It has been a really hard time because since then he has been arrested, in psych wards, and been using in the streets.

The constant back and forth was too much for me. The disappearing for days, then showing up like nothing happened. My problem is that I sought after the validation he gave me because I feel so bad about myself, I felt he was the only one who ever thought I was beautiful or worthy. He loved me so much, but I have come to realize he doesn't even love himself, and the love we shared was very codependent.

Knowing all of this, and all the logic my mind is telling me, my heart is broken, and I am ripped apart from the inside out. This is the second day of no-contact with both him and his mother, and the finality of the whole thing is so real that it finally settled in. I feel like a failure, I feel disgusting, I feel depressed, I feel angry, but I am feeling all those things to hopefully move on.

Just wondering if anyone out there can relate, and how they dealt with it.