Now that you have taken time to learn about toxic/disordered/narcissistic behavior patterns it can truly get you to see these behaviors exhibited by others in your past.

From what you have shared about your father, he had faced the toxic behavior that comes with alcohol abuse that your mother engaged in. It’s important to remember that your father did the best he could and stuck it out and stayed married. He did not have the information and support that is available now. It sounds like he did not understand the affects the challenge he faced with your mother also had an adverse affect on you and your sibling.

We tend to think our parents should know more than they do and that when they failed to comfort us as we needed that they don’t care. Yet, it’s important to understand that adults don’t have all the answers and like ourselves they were learning as challenges came up and did not have the information we have now.

A person gets to an age where they don’t want to go back over their past. It is often too stressful for mind and body and can also bring up emotions that can damage whatever relationship they have now.