So this is a long story.

My husband (28M) and I (27F) have been together for +10 years, married for 1.5 years. We had just bought a house and used all our waken hours painting, getting it ready and have bought furniture for our future home… or so I thought.

We were packing in moving boxes 7 days ago when he said we needed to talk. He told me that we would only be moving my stuff and he would be staying in the apartment. He said he wanted to decide things for himself and be himself, find out who he is, and he had a hard time seeing himself romantically involved with me anymore. I am of course heartbroken, and feel humiliated by his timing. I thought our best days were to come with all the dreams and hopes for the house, and just having more space (we used to live in a studio apartment).

To put into perspective I got pretty bad OCD ~2 years ago, which I underwent treatment for. As I was so sick he had a sort of guardian role where he would take care of most things, and at the same time I would be very controlling because I could not handle getting my OCD triggered. As I got better I did not manage to stop being controlling. I would always insist on the last word. I know, I know. I was suffocating him. So I get why he wants to try to live without control. We also had very bad arguments. And he has told me before I needed to stop being controlling, however only in arguments and we never sat down afterwards and talked about our problems

I am just so broken and do not want a divorce. He says he wants a month alone to think about it. I have a hard time not contacting him, and as we work in the same place, different buildings however it is just so hard for me. I have proposed couples therapy but he does not seem interested. It appears to me as if he wants to break up directly, he has also moved half of our finances from our bank account. I have also told him I am aware I will have to put a lot of work into making it work if he should decide to give us another chance. I know very well I have not been a good partner in recent times, and there is no excuse, I just did not know how to proceed after getting better, bad habits in our relationship just stuck.

What makes it worse is that he has a crush on a coworker and I am afraid if he acts upon it. I know it is natural to have a crush once in a while in a relationship, so I am not mad at him. I just can’t stand he sees her everyday, and what if she likes him back? And I am so sad because I do not feel like I was very present or caring in our relationship in our last couple months

What am I doing now:

- I have moved into the house, trying to better myself, and it is so hard to live alone but I am trying to do a lot of chores and be the best version.

- No contact! I have promised myself I should not contact him to give him space but I have slipped up a few times, and been acting desperate ugh.

PLEASE HELP!

Do you have any advice?
Do you think it has a chance?
Can he regain the romantic interest? If so, what can I do?
How can I assure him I will act different this time?