"And your mother just wants it to go away because she can’t see her way to seeing things from anyone’s point of view but her own"
You won't hear me say anything against Mom. She was always a wonderful person. I don't know why she turned to alcohol, but I believe she was emotionally lonely. She has always been immensely kind, thoughtful and careful with our emotions. She committed fully to stopping drinking and she did. She's a very compassionate and emotionally intelligent person.
Today I got overwhelmed and talked to one of my Dad's sisters.
She said....
In case no one's told you, your father has some, maybe a lot, of narcissistic traits. But he's not a bad person. If you're expecting him to feel what you're feeling, he can't and he doesn't understand it. He will always think he's right. We just let him. Who cares. If you accept this as a mental illness, or a mental inability, you'll start having more peace. The stuff you're expecting is confusing and distressful to him. He's very giving in HIS way. Just let it be that.
Holy. Moley.
I need time to adjust to this, but I think.... I think she hit it.