I'm sorry you got what sounds like a kick in the gut. I hear you taking a lot of responsibility for the breakdown in this relationship. It's always good to own your part in creating a situation. Our own behavior is all that we can really change. However, your husband must have some issues with his own mental health.

Your husband marries you after knowing you for over 8 years. Then, a year later, he agrees to buy a house with you. Shortly after that, he says he needs to be on his own. Something is wrong with this man. Whatever faults you may have, he didn't just discover them recently. To get as deep into a relationship as he got, including making a marital commitment and buying a home, and then suddenly back out of the whole thing is the behavior of a guy who's not very stable. I think you would do well to recognize that it is the both of you who have psychological problems . . . not just you. In a way, that's bad news because you can work on changing you, but you can't change him. This is a man who doesn't really know what the heck he wants. He sounds rather irresponsible to me. People who complain about being controlled are usually complicit in that dynamic. He's a follower. He followed you for over 10 years, winding up married and getting a house. And now he doesn't like where he's at. So he's running out. Even if you get him back, he's not going to be a reliable partner. He's not solid inside. Maybe you became controlling because he is weak.

You must feel very lonely. Give him a chance to get lonely too. Don't call him, and see what happens. Also, find yourself a good divorce attorney to help you protect your share of the assets in this marriage. Him taking that money out of the bank is a red flag. Plus, it sounds like he did it *sneaky.". Another red flag.