I think that some people in therapy often kind of put their therapist on a pedestal. They have this person who validates them in many ways, and they idealize the therapist as a Font of Truth. Especially if others in your life have undermined your feelings of self-worth, it can feel great to sit down with someone who says things to you that make you feel good. Hearing someone frequently mention their therapist in an admiring way makes me wonder if the person is getting a bit addicted to visiting the therapist. That makes me a little suspicious that perhaps the therapist is blowing a lot of smoke up their behind that is mainly designed to make the client want to keep coming back. I'm not saying that therapists set out to lure you into returning by flattering your ego. I don't think that is their conscious intention, but I think it happens a lot. They do want you to return. After all, you are in need of help . . . and the T needs to make a living. So they don't want your session to be an unpleasant experience. That's a valid point. However, if therapy feels wonderful, then I would suspect that there's too much "stroking" going on and not enough attention paid to what is wrong with your approach to life.

I do believe that people in emotional distress have an approach to life that is not working for them. I would say that about myself as quick as about anyone else. You might disagree with me on that, as I expect many would. I believe that many people go to therapy because they want to be told good things about themselves. They often want to be told about how their distress is due to the bad treatment they got from others in their life. They want to be told, "It's not your fault. You were a victim." Some therapists are very quick to reinforce that kind of thinking. If you struggle with a lot of emotional distress, you probably were treated poorly at some time earlier in your life. It's appropriate to recognize and acknowledge that, but, if that stays the focus of therapy, then I don't think therapy is going to improve things for the client.

When someone keeps quoting their therapist, it starts to sound like they've become overly dependent on that relationship, as though this therapist has become their new best friend or even their new "significant other." That can be a little like falling in love with a paid sex worker. The reality is that your therapist is giving you time and attention because you are paying for it. There's nothing automatically wrong with that. It doesn't mean the therapist only wants your money and doesn't care about you. But you are not sitting in that office because the therapist loves spending time with you because you're so wonderful to talk with. Here's what I believe: Your relationship with your therapist is productive, if it leads to you having better relationships outside of the therapists office. If you love going to therapy because the therapist is so nice to you, that's just spinning your wheels and going nowhere. Your therapist is human, which means he or she is going to be wrong from time to time. Not everything your therapist says will be valid. If you're incapable of seeing that, then you have idealized your therapist into something he or she is not. I think your friend was trying to caution you not to do that.