I am going to suggest that you and your therapist explore ways you can communicate the scary feelings in a way that will guarantee you get help next time you are in need.

I can't speak for your therapist, but he probably must have felt that you were safe or he would have pushed for inpatient. He obviously trusts what you say to be the truth and that is a very good thing. None of us want a therapist second guessing every word out of our mouths.

Maybe things were weird because he was unsure how you would react and he didn't want to influence you one way or the other so the weirdness you felt was just him giving you the total control of the session for the day.

Was the second time better? Are you guys back on track as a team? I know you mention you still have guilt... but as far as your progress with this therapist.... how far are you away from where you were pre-attempt?

(see PM for other more personal stuff)