Update, everything is getting better, I guess. I still have non stop nagging need to express, interact. Spinning has mostly stopped. Darkness feeling is almost gone. Only feel like 5 - 10 people throughout the day instead of 1000. Gut wrenching hate for humans is now only "I can't stand humans." Inner world people are trying their best to get me to do things to b part of humanity but I'm so angry that I keep telling them hell will freeze over and to never ask me again and they seem very disappointed about that but idk all of this is starting to bring back the uncontrollable fury in me again it feels like theres something inside of me that needs to come out just so much anger......................... i dont know why but i now have so much anger for them.......I will post again later if things cool down the spinning and everything is coming back now darn it