I feel like most people are disappointed in me for trying to continue with L. Not because I shouldn't forgive her, but because of slipping back into my attachment to her. H doesn't want me with L because she abandoned me and he doesn't ever want to see me in that pain again. Dad doesn't want me to continue because he feels that L encouraging dependency and attachment is unhealthy. And my mom doesn't want me to continue solely because the schedule doesn't really allow me to see my mom anymore. Everyone has their points.
I saw my pdoc today and told her about all the concerns. She actually was in support of me continuing therapy with her. She said to not burn bridges which is something BPD and me are good at doing. She said the only way to treat BPD is the therapy, especially focused on the relationship. She told me that I need to practice distancing myself from the emotions, like having a safe bubble around me. She also reminded me that even though it's not pur intention to hurt other, we do. She said working through the problems is important, but so is moving on. T basically said the same thing.
I feel better about my decision to keep trying with L. It's hard when you feel like everyone is disappointed in you, but I think/hope that this will work out.