I don't think there's a real chance of success for me cuz the world is so bleak.

I made my own success in a way.. spiritually, etc..

So I'll live my live in my own way. I don't even need a personality or anything. I'm just an entity or formation of computer code for this life.

I could self actualize - But I just see a low chance of even being okay within this reality in even 5 years.

So I enjoy life for now. I take the drugs to wake up and make it through the day, good enough for me.