I think a good way to generally define oneself - and I commend you on your great efforts black-roses - is by your values and principles. How a person appears physically is one thing and ppl try to read you by physical appearance alone. They can't. There might be clues in physical appearance but the real person is within, the values, the principles, then after, also the actions. So I look at myself that way, and I look at others that way. I listen to people carefully, or try to.