So sorry for your husband and you...

I would say that you need to work on both fronts...

There is a website, as well called mygrief.ca, you may want to take a look at it...

I also have difficulty regulating my emotions when under stress...

Is there a way for you to identfy all the stressors and create an action plan and get some help (could even be meals be delivered to your home, etc.)? Would your family/friends help out... could you ask them for help?

What are your spiritual beliefs surrounding death?