Quote:
Originally Posted by RDMercer
I had something happen at work recently where I verbally shut someone down.
But sometimes I shut people down.
I said I know I have done that. I said I am overflowing with frustration and lost progress in things I have contributed to. That there have been projects I have contributed to, in some cases for years, and the work has been lost..... truly... Digital files that another team member lost, and then lost again. I told my boss, "You don't know how frustrating that is, and how foolish we look on the front line to a client."
Boss said, "I understand that."
I said, "No you don't. It's really bad and extremely frustrating. We lost our way as an organization for several years, and we re-doing years worth of work, again."
Boss said, "See? That is a perfect example of the issue with you. You just corrected me. You schooled me."
I said "Do you have an understanding of what this is like dealing with this on a daily basis?"
Boss: "Well... No.... But you can't make people feel like that. You snap people to attention and school them. Because of that, I can't make you part of a cohesive team anywhere in the organization, so there really isn't a way to advance you."
Wow.
RDMercer
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Not to be critical, but only to offer a data point on this issue.
I have attempted in the past to point out that you seem "stuck" or stagnant in moving out of your marriage and ruminate over events that occurred in the past.
Your responses to me were that I don't understand how fill-in-the-blank it is for you, your wife is a covert narcissist, etc. Then you have lectured me about covert narcissism and loop back to how unless I can understand YOU, I have nothing of importance for you to consider.
After a few tries in getting you unstuck, I no longer offer my observations because it is too difficult. You will always respond with how I cannot possibly understand due to fill-in-the-blank.
Life does not require that people understand you. If you want to work collaboratively and as part of a team and perhaps progress in your career as a result of that, it actually requires that you put your nose to the grindstone and do the work, without blaming others for not understanding YOU.
My experience in observing your posts over the years is that you will only respond favorably to posts enabling your current behavior or taking "your" side on an issue. The responses after you described the work encounter testify to that as well. There are a couple of people who will always explain away any difficulty you have with others by saying the other person is intimidated/narcissistic/alcoholic/unreasonable and you will always gravitate to those responses almost immediately and use them to justify your position.