Our 5 year "theraversary" was tonight. For now, all I'll say is that it was devastatingly painful. Not just crying, but bawling. Said some things that needed to be said. I think I might have got her crying at one point (don't know for sure because I wasn't making eye contact). She told me to go home and take my anxiety meds. It was rough. I feel extremely vulnerable and raw.

I will mention one thing. She mentioned kintsugi. That that is what our relationship will be like. The cracks in our foundation we'll fill with gold. You'll still see the cracks, but they'll be stronger and make our relationship more beautiful. I thought it was cool that she remembered the kintsugi from our scrapbook.