Mental health check in:

I’m doing well, my mood is good. My anxiety is.. good on days I’m working and bad on days I’m not working. Cause I end up staying at home on my days off overthinking things and I end up dissociating and having panic attacks. On days I’m working it’s fine cause I’m so busy I don’t have time to dwell on my anxiety and get overwhelmed by it and it being a extremely physically active job probably provides a lot of the same benefits as exercise in terms of improving mood and focus, anxiety etc. as much as I love days off I start getting antsy and fall back into my dissociation pretty quickly when I’m not active.

I do still get work anxiety, like anxiety about going to work. Pre-work anxiety or whatever. But it goes away once I’m there. It’s just anticipation anxiety.

But yeah I work tomorrow and Saturday then I have three days in a row off. Sunday will be spent with my bf because our 1 year anniversary is Monday and we both have Sunday off. Monday and Tuesday he’s working, I have those days off though so I’m hoping to not fall into dissociation and waste the days spacing out. I always feel better when we talk and whatnot or spend time together. Like today I was dissociating extremely bad earlier and he called on his way to work and we talked for like 45 min and I felt a lot better after that and more grounded. Something about him always grounds me or improves my mood no matter what’s going on.

We’re planning on me flying down there in like 2 months from now. We have to plan all the details like flights, Uber ride for me to the airport, arranging care for my cats while I’m gone for a week, and arranging time off work. So yeah a lot of planning and money saving in the next two months. In preparation. I still have to get luggage I don’t even have that because I don’t ever travel. Lots to plan