Negotiations takes 2 people & when the other side is not open to negotiation & their part of change.....THERE CAN BE NO NEGOTIATION.
That is not someone just saying they will change, it is seeing REAL action. We try but when the trying fails over & over & they are destroying our life.....then there is NO relationship left to negotiate for.
When I left my now ex, there was no love for him. I care that he is ok but I am not going to fix consequences to his actions that don't mess up my own life & I am still dealing with that 17 years later. I only negotiate conflicts when the relationship really matters to me but most times I walk away or keep them at a distance until it just fades awsy cause the aggrevation of dealing with them is more than I care to deal with.
My recovery has been about finally having a peacful life after 54 years of not, between parents & marriage so if negotiating conflict still includes some level of non-peaceful feeling then it is too high of a cost for me. There will always be issues in life that come & go. That is just normal life, just not interested in any relationship that has a continual level of issues involved. At my point in life, my drama king aussie shepherd 10mo puppy & my drama queen black lab are my limit on drama