Dare I say it-(knock on wood) I'm actually happy and stable. Still tough emotions to process, and the stress of physical health issues, yet here I am stable and happy. I haven't felt this good in years-I'm trying not to let the anxiety/fear of if/when this will all be gone get to me. I'm trying really hard to manage my emotions/keep excitement and productivity in check to help prevent symptoms kicking in.

I've also been thinking a lot about a question my pdoc asks me from time to time: "What are you looking forward to?" It always stops me in my tracks because I never have an answer for him. I want to change this though. The first thing I want to do is not let health anxiety stop me from applying to volunteer at a small dog rescue shelter near me. It's a pretty intense application-including asking for references and a little bit about your health. It's worth a shot though!