Quote:
Originally Posted by Molinit
Not to be critical, but only to offer a data point on this issue.
I have attempted in the past to point out that you seem "stuck" or stagnant in moving out of your marriage and ruminate over events that occurred in the past.
Your responses to me were that I don't understand how fill-in-the-blank it is for you, your wife is a covert narcissist, etc. Then you have lectured me about covert narcissism and loop back to how unless I can understand YOU, I have nothing of importance for you to consider.
After a few tries in getting you unstuck, I no longer offer my observations because it is too difficult. You will always respond with how I cannot possibly understand due to fill-in-the-blank.
Life does not require that people understand you. If you want to work collaboratively and as part of a team and perhaps progress in your career as a result of that, it actually requires that you put your nose to the grindstone and do the work, without blaming others for not understanding YOU.
My experience in observing your posts over the years is that you will only respond favorably to posts enabling your current behavior or taking "your" side on an issue. The responses after you described the work encounter testify to that as well. There are a couple of people who will always explain away any difficulty you have with others by saying the other person is intimidated/narcissistic/alcoholic/unreasonable and you will always gravitate to those responses almost immediately and use them to justify your position.
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I'm sorry. I don't remember the early comments you reference. Was it last summer when I said I was grieving and needed time to grieve, and people round me didn't get that? And I was facing that my entire marriage may have been a facade? I pushed back at people then.
You're right, I seek validation. I've been invalidated by a lot of people around me for a long time. I've needed support far more than "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" advice.
I've blown it at work in the past year. Work became totally unmanageable, doubling my client load due to cuts with no changes in processes at a time my life was upending. Yup. Blew it, with clients and superiors several times. Now, after fifteen years of building a reputation I'm starting over.
As for teamwork.... Fifteen years of performance evaluations, multiple roles, working in collaboration with different departments and training new hires. There's no lack of nose to the grindstone. But I've been painted into a corner in the past year, and I was past my limits and I blew it.
So now, that's my reputation. Nothing prior matters.
Yes, I ruminate. Thats part of trauma recovery. Yes, I've been profoundly depressed and stuck, and now I've failed at work, which was one place I got satisfaction and respect previously
Trying to find a way to move ahead.