My heart goes out to you... it truly does.

Not every therapist or pdoc is a good one (sadly!), or is a good fit.

You have to shop around which I know is tiresome. What happened to the second T? Are they still available?

Have you tried EFT tapping, or EMDR therapy? Something that might help you feel good, less traumatised?

I like this meditation because it helps me to feel safe:

Insight Timer - #1 Free Meditation App for Sleep, Relax & More

Maybe you'll like it, too?