I’m so sorry you’re going through this.

I wish I could say something to help. One thing that occurs to me, for the filtering down of information could you have some central info point like a WhatsApp group to have crucial info posted? If this is something you would find stressful could you delegate the task of running such a group to someone who you trust? You’re absolutely right, it’s not on to keep asking you questions when you’re dealing with your husband’s welfare and your own well-being, and it’s not appropriate now that your husband is asked either.

My heart goes out to you.