So, I have been back and forth with this for months, but I have to hold myself accountable. I reached out to my husband on a Google Voice number when I had a really bad day at work, (I almost quit), because I needed the reassurance and the comfort that I know he could give me, hence my relapse in this toxic addiction to this man.
Obviously, it was a bad move.
Fast forward just four days, and he already sold his Medicaid card with his foodstamps on it and also sold the third cell phone in two months. When will I learn? I changed my number, I blocked him everywhere, why do I hold on to this man? Is it the letters he sends me in the mail? Is the memories I hold onto?
Accountability starts now. I must accept that this is a dead-end toxic relationship that I can't make excuses for anymore. I just wish my heart wasn't so broken and I wasn't such in a vulnerable state.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change........
I must accept that this is who is he is and always was. I must accept that I deserve better than this. I must accept that I am the one holding the whip and whipping myself in this relationship....