Bear with me, please. I've been sick 45 years since 13 (when I started dissociating and developed mood disorder/acute anxiety and stopped talking because I was very disconnected from myself) and have never felt like myself every since. I've done everything in my power and nothing has helped: SOMEHOW I stayed active in 20's/30's and it made things 10 times worse and ended up with 7 nervous breakdowns in early 90's and in the hospital taking horrible medications, getting 17 ECT treatments (which destroyed me - I spent 2 yrs in bed), going on disability and into a halfway house (which was positively traumatic!). Taken 40-50 medications, been hospitalized 28 times, ECT 5 times all with no relief (and have PTSD from the hospital from abuse/being ignored), seen tons of therapists which were a complete joke, exercised most of my life which never helped. Been extremely sick since starting prozac 6 mths ago - gave me insomnia and all symptoms are out of control - mood is torture, energy is non-existent, can't rest or relax, irritable, can't do anything except lie in bed, etc. There's nothing good about my days or nights. Dr stopped prozac 3 mths ago and nothing has changed. He gave me tests in Dec. and adrenal/testosterone levels were high and he said I needed to see an endocrinologist badly, he said he can't help me anymore and he's ignored me the last 6 wks (and, believe it nor not, he's been one of the best Drs I've seen since 1992!!!). Finally saw an Endo today after waiting 4 mths and she didn't have ANY answers for me. She asked me if I would consider another Psychiatrist and taking more meds and I said "No!". All Drs I've seen between Philadelphia-Baltimore have been totally incompetent. All they've done is experiment with me the last 35 yrs and I can't take it anymore! Tried to kill myself 4 mths ago and it didn't work and made me so frustrated and didn't tell anyone because I never want to go back to a psych ward or ER again! I don't know what kind of feedback I'm looking for here. I just wrote this because I needed to get this off my chest.