Quote:
Originally Posted by unaluna
Well, those things are harmless to others, but they aren't harmless to you, because bad manners may result in people avoiding you. These are all signs of disrespect, that you have no care for the feelings of the people around you. So they will probably respond in kind. You may "get away with it" while you are a child and living with your family, but i doubt people will want to join your lunch table at school or work. Employers often take a prospective hire to lunch just to evaluate their table manners, so there's that. If your parents didnt teach you, find an etiquette guide book or online.
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Actually I’ve found that etiquette is sexist and ableist and my parents have taught me so-called manners.
You don’t seem to understand what I’m trying to say, just because I do things that may be seen as rude does not mean I’m being “disrespectful”.
And no, I stated that I find them harmless. If they don’t like that I have normal bodily functions like everyone else does and they find it to be so-called disrespectful even though I’m minding my own business, that is their problem.
And I don’t have any friends not because I’m “rude and disrespectful”, I don’t have any friends because I’m too POLITE. I lost my friends because I learned TOO MUCH ETIQUETTE.
They like my “rudeness” and so-called “disrespect” because they know I’m being myself. But when I pretend to be something that society wants me to be, it turns them away. Just because I’m seen as rude does not mean that I don’t care about anyone else’s feelings. In fact, being “polite” to please everyone else only harms me because they get the opportunity to walk all over me.
When I don’t follow those societal norms, I feel free. Being rude does not always mean disrespect. I as a neurodivergent have tics and stimulations in my body that neurotypicals will not understand. There is a BIG difference between “I am minding my own business” kind of rude and “I will hurt you for my own pleasure” kind of rude.
I also have autism so that will also explain why I don’t view my “rudeness” as harmful or offensive. I’ve been around people who I’ve been trying to please with being polite, but nothing was enough for them.
They took advantage of me by telling me that I’m not doing etiquette right. They hated me for simply being me. They gave me all sorts of etiquette books and manuals, and they have been hell for me. One day, I finally snapped. I told them they have done nothing but control every part of me and make me miserable.
Etiquette in my experience has nothing but torture and I am currently unlearning these standards and putting up my boundaries, if these people want to leave me for just being myself, just know that I’m repelling away the people who want to harm me, and that in itself is a good thing.