I am concerned for you, as you don't seem to have a good support system in place and you are obsessing now...

I am concerned that your obsessions will push you over the edge...

Try to ground yourself... you need to stay grounded... and take a break from the subject of the mk-ultra facility.

Really you need to get a support system, including a therapist asap.

I don't know how else to advise you, but to seek out professional help asap.